Just as I am taking in the gentle scene before me of raindrops creating circles on the water and I place my fingers on the keyboard, the sound of a low flying jet disturbs the peaceful moment of joyful anticipation. And just as suddenly as it came, it is gone again. I notice how quickly something in me closes down, protecting myself from the noise that is too much, too loud. It’s vibration actually hurts. It takes a while to open again. The sound of the raindrops on the roof are so different from the sound of jet. I wonder if it is not just the sound that disturbs me, but the thoughts that go with it. Do they close me down as much as the sound itself?
Every morning I pull a little Angel card. It is one of the first things I do when I wake up. I bought them many years ago when I was studying to become a counsellor. An instructor had brought a little box of cards to school one day and everyone got to pull one and keep it. I still have the one I got after all these years: “Efficiency”. It took me years to appreciate the reminder on my desk and I am sure that’s exactly why I got it.
Today I pulled the Angel card with the word “Presence” on it. I have to admit I often forget about it till I start writing in my journal later on in the day when I am trying to recall which card I got. So this is what happened again this morning.
I couldn’t remember. Yet it came back to me as I wrote the last word in my journal entry: “Presence”. The moment I saw it written on the page, I remembered… It brought a big smile to my face. I do love when I am truly present and I have noticed that walks and being in Nature really bring me into the moment: the beauty, the scents, the sounds, all the different shades of greens and browns, the unexpected meetings with birds or other animals all make it easy for me to be fully present. Nature pulls me into it’s presence and I can’t imagine a more lovely place to be. There is always something to be discovered, a gift just waiting for me to open my eyes to, like the amazing clouds the other evening with pinks and greens and strange lines going through them. It looked like a brushstrokes on a giant canvas.
Yet, as I write this I wonder if the little Angel of “Presence” is asking me to be present with all that is, not just what I love or prefer.