Beautiful sunset at Elkenwolf!
I don’t think I need to add any more words –
what an incredible blessing on this cold winter’s day!
Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, “you owe me.”
Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.
~Hafiz
Sweet sunlight touches my fingers as they glide across the keyboard feeling light and weightless. Today is a new day and it holds so much promise.
Plans of washing clothes, vacuuming, and cleaning up, are all flying out the window as I bask in the warmth of the light coming through the glass…thoughts of different possibilities drift by gently as I consider how to honour the gift of this day.
Nature is beckoning as light fairies are dancing across the water. I know I will be going outside soon with my camera to capture some of the magic.
It is fun to allow the words to weave themselves as Grandmother Spider is sending out a barely seen thread into the world on a slight breeze on this winter morning.
It is even more fun to allow myself to dream again. This day feels like it was made just for that.
Yesterday I started a new collage. I used to make one almost every year. They help me focus on what I want to manifest in my life. Their images remind me of what is important to me and keep me aligned with my dreams. Many of them have come true. 
I just have to look around and see what is here: living in one of the most beautiful places I could ever imagine, a sweet home with a wood stove and many windows and a beautiful view, a partner who appreciates and loves me, living in nature with a bountiful garden, fruit trees and berry bushes….the list goes on and on. There is so much to be grateful for and many dreams are now my reality.
Working on this collage brings up memories of dreams I am still longing for, some old ones and some I only recently allowed myself to have. It is a delight to see this new collage unfold as I carefully choose and position each image. In this process a memory of my father speaking about the fulfillment of one of his big dreams arises. He had a dream for many, many years to one day own a brand new Mercedes Benz. I was so happy when I heard around the time of his retirement that he was finally able to fulfill this dream. The next time my parents came for their yearly visit, I asked him how he liked his brand new car and his answer surprised me very much. He said: “The car is great, but the dream was even greater!” For him the joy of having and holding the dream and the connection to the mystery of its unfolding was more dear than the real thing.
My father passed away a few years ago, but still visits me occasionally in my night time dreams. He was instrumental to my partner and I moving to this beautiful place. I had a dream in which my father gave me the greatest gift. The problem was, when I woke up I couldn’t remember what it was. It was too big to bring back into this reality. I remember wondering all day what the gift had been. That evening I talked to a friend of mine who had known my father and who also knows me well. I told him about my dilemma of not remembering the dream fully. My friend asked me: “What is the biggest thing your father could give you?” Automatically I replied: “His Love!”. “No, bigger than that!” my friend said. I was shocked. This surprising answer from my friend prompted me to enter deeply into the question: “What could be a bigger gift than my father’s love?” The answer came slowly to the surface with deep emotion. Tears were spilling from my eyes as I replied: “He gave me my life! …And then the memory of the gift came back: “In the dream he gave me permission to live my life the way I want to live it, not the way others expected me to or how I had been conditioned.” Tears are running down my cheeks again as I write this. He could not have given me a greater gift. The day after I had that dream and out of the blue my partner found this beautiful home on Cortes Island. We made the decision right then and there to let go of our lives in Victoria and move here. Less than two months after the dream my life had completely changed. I am not sure if I could have taken the step and given myself the permission to live my dream without the message and encouragement from my father.
The thread that Grandmother Spider has sent out is now anchored firmly to the big Fir tree in front of my window with the light and wind playfully changing it’s colour in the most magical way. I feel grateful to the power and sacredness of dreams and dreaming and hold a vision in my heart that our collective dreaming will weave a web of love, connection and a growing consciousness that celebrates the sacredness of all of life.
The wind has a different plan for me today. I work part-time at a Natural Food Co-op here on Cortes Island and on Friday mornings we usually get our deliveries. However due to stormy conditions the ferry is not running, which translates into no delivery truck coming over from Quadra Island till the sea gives her permission and allows for traffic to flow once again.
I’ve been wanting to write a new post all week, but something was in the way. I am still not sure what it is, but todays intervention by the wind felt like a sign: it is time to sit down and write regardless of creative blocks or lack of ideas.
It feels good to sit at my desk with my old dog Frodo sleeping peacefully on the round rug behind me, as I watch the trees dance in the wind. Even our normally very quiet bay is restless. I don’t know why, but this movement, this churning, this dance mirrors the sense that something inside of me is moving as well.
All week a book called “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love, has asked me to pick it up and give it my attention. The book is divided into six parts: Courage, Enchantment, Permission, Persistence, Trust and Divinity. Each part has many short stories, many about Elizabeth’s own experiences and wisdom gained in her exploration in “Creative Living Beyond Fear”.
I love her incredible persistence and beautiful dedication to living a creative life. Her words speak to a part in me that has wanted to give myself this permission for a very long time. The book has found it’s way to me at the perfect time of my life where many things are shifting, as the slow process of birthing my crone Self is unfolding. Creativity is one of the vehicles for me to fully express this journey and all the hidden gems inside of me. 
It is time for me to shed old beliefs and habits, just as fir and pine are shedding their dead needles.
I love Elizbeth’s frank words that cut through the old voices, expectations and fears. A feeling of aliveness is spreading through my body as my whole being comes alive when I break through the walls and follow that wild call into unknown territory. Just imagining the freedom to explore and create without any fears or holding back gives me tingles. Creativity, when it flows, is so exciting.
Lately on my walks the wild has been calling me to step off the known path and explore the places beyond the familiar. I discovered beautiful new bluffs as I scrambled up and down the coastline and through the forest following an inner voice and inner knowing. Often feeling lost but somehow trusting and each time surprised where it took me and how much this wild beauty touched my heart.
This little red Arbutus berry found in a nest of white lichen on one of those excursions seems such a vibrant symbol of what can be discovered when we step out of the known.
The red pearl is the beautiful seed from this magnificent coastal tree who sheds it’s bark to stand naked and vulnerable as the wind blows away all which is not true. For me the red pearl symbolizes what is waiting to be discovered both on the inside and outside. It is a symbol of hope and renewal and choosing to live a life of vibrant aliveness. It is the seed of creativity that is waiting for each of us to give it our full attention and unique expression.
As a young bald eagle glides effortlessly in a spiral over Reflection Cove, there is so much to be grateful for: the power of the wind, beauty, creativity, life and the “Big Magic” contained in one red pearl and in each of us.
Drawing Back The Curtain 