Hibernating And Arriving

One more nudge was all that was needed for me to sit down and finally write another blog post. Having lost my camera charger towards the end of last year had put a halt to all my usual creative endeavours such as videos, blogs or my newsletter. After turning my cabin upside down and finally admitting defeat, I have ordered a replacement which has not yet arrived. There is a sense of loss every time I see something beautiful that I would love to capture and share with you. Taking photos with my outdated iPhone is not the same, but I have begun using it more and even appreciating it. 

However last night as I lay in bed looking back on the day and remembering the friendly nudge from someone asking when I would write a new blog post, I realized that it is time to let go of the excuse and make do with what I have. And I have a lot of photographs in my library and I have a phone. Come to think of it, maybe it’s time to dig out my old camera again considering I located two of its chargers in my desperate search.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I am still arriving in the New Year: 2022. There seems to be space at this beginning to allow myself to do just that. I welcome this space and the slower tempo. The snow keeps me tugged in deep in the woods and so far this winter we have had a lot of power outages. In fact the power is out right now. I am sitting here in full winter gear, but the sun is shining on me creating some warmth and enough delight to recharge my creative batteries.

Deciding to make all my Christmas presents this year I picked up many of my past hobbies like knitting, crocheting and yesterday I even started using my little rigid heddle loom after a long pause. What a joy! All my wool is spread out over the floor inviting me with its endless possibilities. 

As I sort through the wool to see which I want to keep and which I will give away, I sense that I am sorting through layers of me to see which I want to keep and nurture and which are now time to let go. I am also combining knitting with weaving and crocheting with beading… trying new things and even creating some for sale to supplement my income. I deeply appreciate that I still remember many of the things I learnt as a child and honed over time and can now put to use again. And yet there is so much new to learn. I have to watch that I don’t get pulled into the amazing and also addictive online world which offers so much information and ideas.

One thing I really am grateful for is the discernment of what I spend my time on. It seems I am in a deep process of simplifying my life. And I have to say that I love it. Being without power and without water on and off for a quite a while now has let me to welcome this dark winter season in a much deeper way. I listen to the silence, I read, I journal, I speak to friends and clients, I get water at the well house or out of the ditch if it’s running. Noticing how my world and my mind is quieter I enjoy the simple task of washing dishes or sweeping the floor.

Maybe we are all heading towards a much simpler life, one that is more joyful as we choose with care what truly brings us that and learn contentment with less things but more love and real connection and a deep appreciation for nature and life.

Many blessings for this New Year to you! May it be filled with simplicity, joy, love, well-being and deep fulfillment!

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Circling Around The Heart

As I sat down at my little table the other morning facing the still white fields with the intention to write, a movement outside caught my attention: high in the sky birds were circling… and so many of them.

Rushing outside with my camera the birds were now even higher in sky and further north and looked like tiny moving dots. Their white tail feathers flashing in the sun revealed that these were bald eagles gliding upwards in a thermal. There must have been thirty or forty or more.

Running back inside to get my binoculars wanting to have a closer look, they all disappeared behind the clouds by the time I returned.

Standing on the melting snow and taking in the beauty of the day the birds were singing a happy melody reminding me of Spring, when suddenly four eagles reappeared performing their dance in the sky. Mr. Kitty also joined in, circling around my feet as the eagles were drawing spirals in the sky.

Thinking of the beautiful heart cloud that presented itself just before Valentine’s, a gift of Love appearing out of nowhere, I see how my mind likes to put every experience I have into neat compartments of “like” or “don’t like“. The heart cloud filled me with joy, while watching a seagull kill a little duck was heart wrenching to say the least, while an eagle was keeping a close eye on Mr. Kitty who had followed me down to the beach. I decided to stay and protect the cat rather then try to rescue the duck. It was a very weird moment recognizing that we are all predators and prey and that attaching any kind of label seems rather pointless.

This morning waking up from a dream with my heart pounding, I was glad to see the golden light of the new born sun shining on my pillow. Taking a deep breath and releasing the feeling of sorrow that I took with me from my dream in which I had met up with my golden companion Frodo, I jumped out of bed with excitement, feeling happy to be alive and have a day off on such a beautiful day.

The dancing light on the ocean was not to be missed and it didn’t take long before I made my way to the beach rejoicing in the pattern the freezing cold night had painted on the pond and the one single leaf left on the tree made me pause in wonder.

Discovering more delights on the beach, but also noticing the contrast between the pine tree so ladened with seeds announcing new birth while its branches are hanging low over dead logs littered all over the beach for as far as you can see. Trees that were cut down for a reason, but that never made it to their destination or intended use. Maybe not everything has to make sense like the seagull killing the little duck and then just flying away or so many trees ending up on our beaches never used for anything. Perhaps it is in the noticing and being with what life and death are offering that changes the lens through which we see the world. Certainly some experiences change us forever almost instantly and others, perhaps like the rocks being polished by the sea, take a long time to round out the sharp edges and letting in new awarenesses.

I’ve been loving the gift of winter that February has brought us here on the island with so many magical moments, but also the reminder of stillness and death. Yet I can almost feel spring waiting in its wings, ready for it’s turn to offer us its beauty and unique expression. I am looking forward to the changing of the season, ready for the new greens and buds bringing in new life.

Nature has so much to show and teach me and being in the moment is one of the greatest lessons I am learning. And in this moment the sunshine outside is encouraging me to get on my bike and give my body some much needed exercise, even if my mind needs a little more convincing.

Winter Blessings

Happy New Year!!!!

A new year has begun!

As all the warm well wishes for each other have been exchanged and the days are now beginning to get longer again, here at Elkenwolf winter is showing off it’s unique beauty with icy temperatures turning water to magical ice creations that delight the senses, even if feet and hands are hard to keep warm while taking pictures.

As I sit here in the deep silence of winter I wonder what 2017 will bring. Out of nowhere a large bald eagle flies high over Reflection Cove taking my attention from my wandering mind to the giant wings moving in a powerful rhythm like the beat of my heart. It seems to know where it is going.

A week before Christmas, as we were getting ready for a big Solstice event, I saw a bird fly towards our living room window and heard the big bang. It all happened so fast it took a few moments for my mind to register what just happened. My partner was the first to lean over the couch to see a little woodpecker lying with it’s head in the snow underneath the window. I remember walking over reluctantly not wanting to see the hurt or dead bird. The moment I saw it lying there motionless it was clear that I needed to check on it. I pulled on my coat and boots and hurried outside. As I rounded the corner of our deck I saw the bird still lying there motionless, the red feathers startling bright against the white snow. I also saw another woodpecker nearby on the ground, hopping away under the deck as I approached and then flying into a tree close-by.

Picking up the unmoving bird very gently with both of my hands I could feel that it was still alive. It had it’s eyes closed but as I positioned it in my hands it moved it’s feet and held onto my fingers evoking sweet memories of the feel of little bird’s feet of my beloved childhood friend: my budgie Hansi.

The woodpecker’s eyes were tightly closed. I hoped that the warmth of my hands were keeping it warm as I stood there looking for any signs and wondering if it could survive both the hard impact with the window and the shock. I spoke to it softly telling it that I hoped it would recover and fly again. Then I also said that it would be ok for it to let go, if that is what it needed to do and that it was loved.

As I stood there in silence waiting for a response the little woodpecker started to blink its eyes. Not knowing what else to do, I held the woodpecker and waited, watching it continue to blink slowly. Then a call from a nearby bird roused me out of my silent watch and I felt almost prompted to turn towards a bush and crouch down. The moment I did this the little woodpecker pulled its wings out of my hands and flew to the tree just behind the bush. It’s mate immediately joined him there. It hesitated for a few more moments, then to my delight flew to another tree nearby, it’s mate following close behind.

You can probably imagine the joy I felt seeing the two of them fly off together, leaving me with a feeling of deep gratitude in my heart and an awareness of the preciousness of life. One morning a few days later I awoke to a loud familiar drumming sound on the metal roof. Instantly I wondered if it was my little friend sending me a message, that all is well.