Tag Archives: Oneness

Take A Closer Look

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A few of our Hollyhocks are still blooming in November. Their beauty on these often grey and rainy days is a sight to behold. As I start out on my walk with my old companion Frodo, I see the soft pink greeting me from a distance.

Making my way through the meadow I can’t help but notice many different tribes of mushrooms dotted throughout the landscape. I feel their invitationp1130315 to stop for a moment.  I take a closer look and feel touched by their mystery and beauty. Most of them I do not recognize. Life seems ever changing as I take in the many different shapes and sizes that are here today and may be gone tomorrow.

Frodo and I continue our morning walk and soon we are stepping over all the little creeks in the meadow that are making their way to the ocean. I watch Frodo stop and sniff a cedar branch for a very long time. This brings tears to my eyes. His eyesight is slowly leaving, his hearing all but gone. Each moment is becoming more precious and these walks with him are not taken for granted anymore. Quietly I watch him take in the sweet smell of cedar and who knows what else…

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A couple of weeks ago I had an experience that is still with me today. I was looking at posts on Facebook when I came across one that stopped me in my tracks. I had seen it before. Last time I quickly clicked onto something else. The image was breaking my heart. When I saw it again this time however I knew I couldn’t just pass over it. I looked at the picture of a starving polar bear floating on a piece of ice and I became very still. Perhaps you know which one I am talking about. I didn’t read any words, the picture spoke volumes. The usual feeling of deep pain, helplessness and hopelessness arose and I sat with it as I would with a friend who is sharing with me a painful experience. Then I did something else that surprised me. I asked myself not from a place of defeat, but from a place of earnest inquiry: What can I do to make a difference? I don’t usually ask myself this question, because I think I already know the answer: There is nothing I can do! Or perhaps I am afraid of the answer.

I did not address the question to that little me who feels powerless and inadequate, I asked my very core, my centre of being and the answer was matter of fact, immediate, very short and very clear: Write!

As soon as I heard it, I felt an immense amount of joy followed immediately by fear. I remember my Shamanic teacher Sandra Ingerman telling a group of us once, to only ask a question if we are really ready to hear the answer and accept it. Sometimes we don’t actually want to hear the answer and do what is asked of us. I have never forgotten her teaching and now only ask when I feel ready to honour the response.

I let the answer wash over and through me. As I watch the raindrops gather together becoming little creeks, gaining momentum and power p1130329as many become one, I wonder if that is what is needed to shift what is happening in our world today. Is this what is taking place at Standing Rock in North Dakota where tribes, nations and many people are coming together from all directions to stand up for what is sacred: our water, life, Mother Earth, our burial grounds…?

On my walks recently I have been looking for a stone that resembles Standing Rock for me and then I suddenly realized that what I was looking for was not to be found on the outside. I had to look for it on the inside. As soon as I turned my gaze inward I could see that Standing Rock is that centre of my being that stands solid and strong regardless of what is happening on the outside.

As Frodo is taking a sip from the little creek under the big old cedar tree, I am really glad I asked myself that question and for a moment I imagine a world where people come together and stand for the sacredness of life and create a new world together based on love and oneness not fear. I look out onto the garden where the soft pink Hollyhocks are beckoning: Come! Take a closer look! And I do…what I see fills my heart with joy: the seeds are sown, it is already in the making.

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Photos by Elke

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Kiss the Earth

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“Keep your tailbone down!” These words run through my head as I am walking through the wet grass towards the garden. I am on a mission to get kale, parsley and celery for my morning drink. I notice I feel taller, straighter when I walk this way. “Walk like a queen!” I laugh with delight still wondering how to do that. One of my socks is getting wet. There must be a hole in my shoe. “Kiss the earth with each step you take!”

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I slow down. There are so many mushrooms in the grass. They must have sprung up overnight. I place my foot more carefully onto the ground this time. Instructions from Banafsheh, our beautiful Dance of Oneness workshop leader, are coming back into my consciousness. I slow down even more. My wet foot feels the wet earth beneath and I smile.

A sense of Well-Being is starting to fill my body as I walk lightly yet fully grounded to Mother Earth. I pick the kale dripping with raindrops, add the parsley and celery and stop for a moment to look around. The Sunflowers and Hollyhocks are bowing down from the night’s rain. There is no doubt anymore that autumn is here. I welcome it. I wonder in the welcoming if I am now entering the autumn of my life with hot flashes and many other menopausal symptoms creating the need to turn more inward and wonder also if I can open to the different kind of beauty that this season brings.

I walk slowly out of the garden. The click of the garden gate breaks through my reverie. As I take one step at a time with my hands full of wet greens, I feel the energy of the earth. “Imagine an invisible thread that goes from your crown to the sky pulling you up” I hear Banafsheh’s deep feminine voice inside my head. Feeling myself being pulled upwards I am walking even taller, gently placing each foot on the earth with awareness where we touch and connect. My body, my temple, is becoming a bridge between Heaven and Earth. I notice an aliveness tingle inside of me. The fresh morning air awakens my senses even further.

It is a week now since the workshop ended, since all fifteen women danced in Oneness at the Hollyhock Retreat Centre. Everyone of them is held so dearly in my heart, something I had not expected. I am not sure what I hoped for. All I know is something had called me to go and I am so glad I did not let the resistance and fear stop me from going. It was challenging and beautiful at the same time with the sweetest surprise: the coming home to the sacred Feminine. Again I had not expected that. The surprise and wonder is still very much alive in me. I put my hand on my womb and I remember…

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Cracked Open

Something has shifted inside of me in this dance. My head is desperately trying to figure out what it is, wants to put a finger on something. I sense that this something cannot be defined or even named. It can only be opened up to, experienced in my whole being and leave me forever changed. I have taken home many precious gifts from this workshop, like the opening to sisterhood to a degree which I have not experienced before; my reconnection to the Divine Feminine and seeing and experiencing the embodiment of her in all her beauty; the gift of self-forgiveness, kindness and self-love and of course the beautiful gift of whirling and Rumi’s powerful words. I learned many things I didn’t know, all leading me home to the sacred feminine. The most precious gift however I cannot put into words. It is that something that dances in every cell of my body calling me home.

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Photo by Dancing Wolf

 

Today, like every other day,

we wake up empty and frightened.

Don’t open the door to the study and begin reading.

Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~Rumi