Kinship

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Gratitude fills me on this quiet morning here at Elkenwolf as I look outside at the familiar yet ever-changing scenery. I feel deeply held by the community of trees surrounding our cottage, like sacred guardians standing silent and strong. A pair of eagles sitting high on their perch across our little cove are bearing witness to the delicate unfolding of this moment.

The sun is breaking through the dense greyness that seems to be holding everything, even this day, in suspense not knowing which way it’s going to go. The unexpected light illuminating for a moment both the outer and inner landscape I find myself in as I give my attention to what is showing itself to me.

Just last week I heard myself talking to a few different friends about my difficulty in returning to an unfinished blog. Yet as I heard myself speak these words, I wondered if this is actually true or if it is a belief that stops me from entering the essence of the unfinished piece. Perhaps some of them are not meant to be finished and were just fleeting ideas. Yet as I look at these unfinished beginnings I know some of them need to be written and this is one of them.

Last June I began with the idea of a blog about a woman I had heard about but never met. Her  name was Gilean Douglas. The title and pictures came easily, but I didn’t get very far with my writing. Now nine months later this post is ready to be born, urging it’s way through the birth canal.

Last night after listening to the wind and chimes creating beautiful music together, I went to bed wondering why writing sometimes is so easy and effortless and at other times almost painful like being in labour. I fell asleep with the question in my head what my highest excitement is in regards to writing.

This morning I turned on the computer with the intention to begin the day with writing. While closing tabs on my computer I stumbled across the announcement of a radio program about Gilean Douglas, I had exactly one minute before showtime. Immediately I was spell bound hearing about Gilean’s life from people that knew her. The same deep feeling of kinship arose in me that I had felt last May when I first heard about her…

A few days before leaving on a vacation a friend of mine had asked me out of the blue if I had heard of Gilean Douglas. I had not. My friend began telling me about this fascinating free spirited woman, nature writer, poet, feminist and journalist who had lived here on Cortes Island for forty years until her death at age ninety-three. We walked over to the bookstore where my friend showed me one of Gilean’s books “The Protected Place“. I opened up a page and immediately was drawn into the world of Gilean Douglas, which felt strangely familiar.

Two days later I found myself with four books in my suitcase on my way to Hawaii:  Silence is My Homeland (a book Gilean wrote about her life in the mountains of British Columbia), The Protected Place (a book written by Gilean about her life on Cortes Island), Seascape With Figures (a collection of Gilean’s poems) and Writing Nature Finding Home (a biography and collection of her works by Andrea Lebowitz and Gillian Milton). On the beaches in Hawaii I got to know more about Gilean and her life and I loved what we had in common besides the love for writing.

Gilean first found this sense of home in Nature while living in her mountain cabin in the interior of BC and then again on Cortes Island after losing her beloved cabin in the mountains to a fire. I also had experienced that immense feeling of being truly home for the first time while living in a cabin on a mountain top for nearly thirteen years in southern BC. In 2005 I left our mountain home with my two sons following a deep inner calling to live by the ocean and go to counselling school. It was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. Just like Gilean I grieved the loss of my home on the mountain very intensely for many years. It was like losing a best friend. Finally ten years later Cortes Island called me.. . and here I am, finally home in Nature again!

Within a few days of my return from Hawaii I met by chance (if there is such a thing) one of the authors of the Writing Nature Finding Home. Once again I found myself being connected to Gilean, learning more about her from Jill Milton who had been a friend of hers for many years. Within a month of my return my friend who first introduced me to Gilean Douglas took me to the Protected Place, Channel Rock, where Gilean had lived till her death in 1993. We spend a beautiful afternoon there, picnicking on the rocks in front of Gilean’s oceanfront cabin, walking the immense grounds and her beloved garden. It was easy to imagine Gilean sitting on these rocks writing, immersed in the beauty and wildness of this place.

While I was listening to the radio show Gilean’s writing was described as “singing songs of praise” for Nature and as soon as I heard this, I knew that it was the answer to my question from the night before. This love I have for Nature, for Spirit, for Home so wants to be expressed and writing is one way for me to do this. I am grateful for the sense of kinship, not just with Gilean, but the women who introduced her to me and all who love nature. For it is this kinship with Nature that gives me my greatest sense of belonging. I want to end this post with a beautiful heart-opening blessing written by John O’Donohue from his book Anam Cara, that I send out to all of you:

A Friendship Blessing

May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where
there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them;
may they bring you all the blessing, challenges, truth,
and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your anam ċara. 

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Drinking life’s nectar – taken in the garden at Channel Rock

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Kinship

  1. Katya Keen

    All of this is soooooo beautiful Elke……tears sprout and cascade in rivulets
    Having lived on Cortes on my own mountain top…I too know that call of nature living in it, and sink joyfully into the depth of creative stillness…
    I want to spend time reading your blogs each day to ground myself in your familyiar roundedness that I need so much now..and has not been in my favour of priority. The opposite..FEAR has been my partner for so long.
    Thankyou for the gift of you…the gift of your sharing, the gift of delving deeper into your nature.
    All of it is calling us all who know truth and struggle at times to find the gifts of truth in a menial world of shapeshifting chaos….
    I’m overwhelmed now..happily so.
    Sending much love to you and dancing Wolf XXX

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. drawingbackthecurtain Post author

      Dear Katya, Thank you for your beautiful response to my post! Your words brought me so much joy knowing the place it touched in you. I love how you share your truth with such honesty, deep insight and vulnerability. You know the magic and beauty of Cortes well and it lives inside of you. I so love the words you used “sink joyfully into the depth of creative stillness”….yes, my whole being responds to that. Much love to you, Elke

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  2. Pat Valks

    So lovely Elke! You really have a gift of Spilling words onto paper that move me as they touch the tender places I can only feel without words when I’m feeling vulnerable until I give the time and gentle attention to quietly slow down and listen which seems to happen when in Nature. I live in the city and love it still knowing I can slip away easily to the company of trees and water and wispers of birds and butterflies yet your words come from deep emerging into wild remoteness for great lengths of time that opens to a deeper listening I am so intrigued by. I love your writing and each piece unfolds in perfect timing along with the beautiful synchronicities that open and lead the way. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart stirrings, your poetry and that of others who inspire you as it all comes together in Kinship like friends holding each other as Tender Witnesses to this Sacred unfolding we call Life Together. 💕

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    1. drawingbackthecurtain Post author

      Dear Pat, thank you so much for your beautiful comment, so full of clear insight, wisdom and sharing. I am filled with so much love reading this. Your response is mirroring the essence of the post expressing it so eloquently. May we witness in and for each other what you so beautifully stated as “this Sacred unfolding we call Life together”. Big hug to you, my friend!

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  3. jillmilton

    Loved this blog, and the photo at the end really summed it up so perfectly. It’s interesting that Gilean is making herself heard so strongly right now, not coincidental I think, as Channel Rock is seeking new protectors.

    Jill

    On Fri, 24 Mar 2017 17:49:50 -0700, Drawing Back The Curtain

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  4. Dayna Davis

    Beautiful Elke!
    I too read all of
    Gilean’s books and visited her place on Cortes in the first few years that I lived here. Her spirit is very deeply embedded here and seems to call out to those who feel the land deeply and who love solitude. Thank you for your words. Dayna

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    Reply
      1. sironarose

        I live close to the ocean, but its flat here and mostly swamps (I live in South Georgia). If I had mountains with it, it probably would make me happier. It’s just not always safe going walking in the swamps…we have big gators here lol

        Liked by 1 person

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