Well, it’s not leaving me alone!
I simply must write. I don’t know exactly why or what, but the deep urging of writing sooner or later gets to me. It is so interesting to watch my strategies of avoidance anything from opening the fridge numerous times and not finding anything satisfactory to looking at a stack of books, none of which holds my attention for more than a few minutes to many other distractions that go nowhere.
It’s like I am trying to run away from my Self, which seems utterly impossible. So here I am again, once again immersing myself in the process of Creativity: from not knowing what to write, to letting go, letting flow and letting the words come naturally without constraint or judgement. The moment I do this, I feel like I am coming home. I stop worrying and let the deep pleasure of writing take me where it needs to take me.
Looking back at to my first blog “Springblossoms” and how long it was in the making, how difficult that process was for me and how unnerving it was to press the publish button. Followed by a moment of joy “I did it!” to instant fears “What have I done?”. Yet also acknowledging despite the fears that this is something I need to do and want to do. I wonder if it will continue to be so challenging for me. Every time I overcome my fears and press that publish button, I recommit to the journey that I am on and also to the creativity inside of me that wants to be expressed.
For the last month or so I was distracting myself with wanting to start a new hobby: Weaving. I got numerous books from the library, talked to weavers, researched looms… spending lot’s and lot’s of time and thoughts around “Should I get into weaving?” Every time I reflected upon what was drawing me to weaving, what showed up was the weaving of words into a beautiful tapestry that brings meaning and inspiration to others on their journey through life.
So today I surrender to the creative urge and allow it to be what it is, rather than get stuck in the stuckness of fears and conditioning. Feeling a deep sense of gratitude to all the little prompts I receive along the way pointing me to what I love….and dropping into the joy of creating.